Lady Gaga watch: A king with no crown

Apparently my phone will let me make posts like this. We’ll see what happens.

It’s time to write about Lady Gaga again. And I’m not just doing it because the top search that leads to my blog is “latex nun.”

Obviously Lady Gaga’s new single “Judas” is many things- controversial, highly dancable, and borderline genius to name a few. The lyrics can either be read as irreverent, sacreligious, or nonsensical. But the point is: I selfishly claim this song as my personal anthem. Why? A short shory:

I grew up in a church that some would call huge beyond comfort (me) and others would call “medium-sized.” My high school youth group alone consisted of a few hundred people, most of which went to the retreats every year.

I wasn’t so “lucky.”

Which led to an awkward Sunday School experience when there were maybe twenty of us total the Sunday of the retreat, which meant that we all had to meet together. The topic that morning was when one Mary of the Bible washed Jesus‘ feet with her expensive perfume and hair. Judas suggests that she should have sold the perfume and given the money to the poor. Jesus says what was probably his most prophetic and damning statement of all: “there will always be poor.” Basically, Jesus told Judas to chill the fuck out.

“Why did Judas make this suggestion?” We were asked.

“Because he was the treasurer and the money-keeper. He thinks in terms of money,” tiny-me said.

“… Anybody else?”

“Because the Devil told him to?” Spoketh another.

“Yes! It was the Devil controlling Judas!” The speaker announced in a manner more nonsensical than anything Lady Gaga has ever said.

(The short ends in my most bad-ass moment, a moment I will never top again in my life: when asked what Baptists believe in, I answered “money.”)

I’m sure I’ll write more when the video comes out. Until then, I’ll continue to have “Judas” on repeat. And continue to try and solve the mystery of why there is a giant condom flung over that bus chair. You stay classy, Canoga Park.

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