I swear that I do not hate Christians. However, I do have a strong distaste for people who are rude (and if they happen to be a Christian, then I have to write about it on here, I mean, I have to).
A few weeks ago I was hospitalized for being and feeling suicidal. I stayed in treatment from Tuesday until Saturday night at 12:30 p.m. (when my told was officially up). While in treatment I met a lot of amazing people, both doctors and patients, who helped me to understand the help that I still need and get closer to being “functioning” again. Part of this “rehabilitation” for me is that I am now attending IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program), which is basically a lite version of being in the hospital; one goes to treatment for three hours a day, three times a week, for three weeks. My particular program includes goal setting, group therapy, and an “education” talk about different coping skills. Basically, it’s absolutely amazing and I love going there, and I am definitely learning more about my overall goal for myself, which is to be realistic, loving and forgiving towards myself.
My one iota of a complaint against the group is the presence of one particular member. Obviously, one member of the group can’t just be kicked out, especially this woman; she recently suffered a great loss, and if I were in her shoes I would definitely need the help of IOP if not a full-blown hospitalization to get over it.
However, it is not okay for a woman to be rude or unsupportive, especially in a support group.
A few days ago, on this woman’s first day, my therapist was speaking to me in front of the group about changing my negative thoughts into positive ones with imagery. She explained that she would not give me religious imagery, as she knows that I am an atheist. The woman (who was sitting right next to me, after I had smiled at her when she first walked in the door) immediately whipped her head in my direction, glared at me, and then turned away from me. After all of the group members were done speaking, she announced to the group that she was a Christian, and that she could not understand people who denied or hated God. To make matters worse, today she started yelling at another new girl in our group, a girl who professed to the group to being agnostic (though later she admitted to me that she is an atheist). Being fragile and sad, I immediately started crying (I hate when people are angry or yell), and, right on cue, the psychiatrist asked to see me in her office.
To make matters worse, I now have another diagnosis: Anxiety NOS, because I have symptoms and behaviors of both OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
All I can say is: today was cray cray.