Worst. Christian. EVER.

People Praying
Image by Old Shoe Woman via Flickr

I’ve recently (as in, within the last 24 hours) discovered Stuff Christians Like, a website that aims to both poke fun at Christian clichés and aks- do the clichés get in the way of worship? Being me, I decided to quickly read through as many of the archived 500 posts as seemed appropriate to my life.

Oddly enough, it was significantly easier for me to find out that I am a huge cliché of a white person according to Stuff White People Like (I actively “like” about a third of the overall list, but mostly “Black Music that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore.”) It isn’t that I don’t enjoy SCL; reading through the entire list has made me laugh harder than when I try to read Conservapedia, a website that pretends to be an encyclopedia but actually contains the most hilarious “articles” of all time, such as “Resources for leaving atheist and becoming a Christian” (I hope they’re not holding their breath for somebody to use that page without irony).

So I’ve been thinking… was I ever a “real” Christian? There are people that would tell me that, because I’ve stopped calling myself a Christian, and am therefore not “saved,” that I was never “saved” in the first place. (1 John 2:19, “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.”) On the other hand, plenty of people would love to tell me that my salvation cannot be taken away, and since I agreed to it at eight years old that I will still go to Heaven (God will obviously forgive my doubts now). But since I’ve been taught that there should be at least some evidence of my salvation, it stands to reason that I can use Stuff Christians Like for a litmus test, right?*

In the overall list, I definitely like (or did like):

… among a few others. But what does any of this mean? Are these true evidences for salvation? Or would the evidence for me being a “real” Christian be that, at one point, I disagreed with gay marriage? That I wrote an essay against amnesty? That I used to hate the idea of feminism? Was being a secret Republican the true evidence of my salvation?

Or is the true evidence of salvation the fruit of the spirit?

Galatians 5:22-23 (New International Version)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Did I ever love? Have joy? Peace? Patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self-control? Well, of course. I didn’t even realize that God had the monopoly on good character traits, but there you have it.

So was I ever saved? Will I be “saved” in the future? Who knows. All I know is that SCL is hilarious, and that is to say: this post had no point.

*Wrong, but let’s pretend for the same of humor.
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